Hi Simmers! Last time a WHOLE ton of stuff happened. The adults went on a free vacation, the teens threw a party and BROKE EVERYTHING, Benji died :(, Traci was the most obnoxious Sim I’ve ever experienced, Cyrus had an adult birthday and well, here we go!
GENERATION B JUICE PONG!
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Bettina and Traci had a “moment” last time in the kitchen, and it was commented upon that Bettina is now gangsta. She is indeed gangsta. BAM!
GO BETTINA! We ALL hate Traci!
Look at the hate.
Note: Bettina and Leif are 96 Sim days old. Bettina has 183,650 LTH and Leif 108,293. As an ISBI spouse, I found that number quite pleasing. You go Leif!
Cyrus got promoted! And being a workaholic, is VERY pleased with himself.
FYI: Drake and Dane are there because they were on a field trip. Aw. Cute.
While Cyrus succeeds, TRACI FAILS!
Really? She couldn’t even make it out of the second position? Leif is an uncontrollable spouse, and he’s been promoted MANY times. Traci is a COMPLETE disaster, and we hate her. She’s now been promoted to “Paper Girl” which a CHILD can do. Way to shine, Trace. Way to shine.
I promised Cyrus an adult makeover, here’s his outfit!
I also promised him the TH Tattoo of Honor. The Gnome of the Wrist!
Aw, cute. And hairy!
When coming out of the salon after his tattoo, this tourist was standing around!
Aw, China! The Zales went there!
They have A LOT in common!
His name is Changpu! Changpu Sau Hing!
Aw… Bros! Brohoof!
And poor Dahlia… she just misses Benji so much!
Don’t mind me… I’m an 8 year old with an iPhone. OMG BENJI I MISS YOU!
All the time!
I’m sorry honey. The moodlet manager cannot save you. You’re forced to mourn Benji.
And only HORRIBLE TRACI would be mean to a CHILD who was devastated over her lost kitteh.
Cyrus rolls this:
It’s not the divorce Traci wish we were all looking for, but it’s a start. Holly is a co-worker, and since I want Cyrus to divorce Traci be happy, we promptly invite her over.
She’s cute too.
Adult Paper Girl Traci doesn’t think so. MUHAHAHAHHA
Aw… Poor you. You mad? STFU
Then I got this pop up about Dahlia!
I found her stuck on a playground. I had to reset her. Poor baby.
It’s DAHLIA’S BIRTHDAY!
WOO HOO! FUN TIMES!
I wish I DON’T GROW UP WITH ZALE HAIR CURSE!
It comes true!
Not a bad grow up, if I do say so! Best we’ve seen in a long time! She rolled Nevernude.
HEIR POLL HERE HERE READERS! You now get to control the future of the Zale Idiot Clan! To recap:
She is a Nevernude, Workaholic, Insane, Excitable Sim who loves Disco, Goopy Carbonara, and the color LIME.
He is a Friendly, Good, Workaholic, Cold Loving, Easily Impressed Sim who enjoys Soul, Cheese Tofu Steak, and Irish Green.
He is a Friendly, Good, Light Sleeping, Over Emotional Sim who likes Country, Stu Surprise, and Yellow.
She is a Cowardly, Grumpy, Rebellious Slob who favors Chinese Music, Stir Fry, and Lilac.
Choose Wisely. With great power comes great responsibility… Or some shit.
PRAISE THE LLAMA!
IT HATH HAPPENED!
We warm up to the divorce by arguing real quick…
I mean, it COULDN’T just come out of the blue, could it!?
GO CYRUS! WOO HOO!!!
Well, shit. This was sad…
OH WELL. SHOO!
I have a cell phone, but I’m going to use the house phone to move out…
I’d say we’ll never see here again, but she’s like, the ONLY family member we could invite to parties, so I’m sure she’ll come around. And we’ll all enjoy laughing at how much we hate her. PEACE!
Well well… what do we have here?
HA! You thought it’d be exciting. Nah, it’s Cyrus in his make-over undies and his honorary degree.
And Bettina, well, she keeps with tradition.
Angelica, I’m thinking of you.
Hmm, a visitor!
Is that?… Could that be?…Is he from out of town?
Why yes! I do believe Cyrus has invited his Bro Changpu from China to come visit!
That’s cool. Ya know, you need your homies when going through a divorce!
WHATEVER! We’re HAPPY SHE’S GONE!
Cyrus: Hi Changpu! Please, come inside!
*Cyrus strips instantly* (Seriously, he did it all on his own!)
Changpu looks confused. LOL
Cyrus: Hey Bro! Do you know your star sign? I’d like to know it too! For Bro reasons.
Changpu: I’m strangely attracted to this skinny, hairy man.
Cyrus: You’re a Pisces? OMG! I rolled a wish to meet a Sim with a compatible sign, and you ARE! Let us BroHug!
Cyrus: Wait. I think I feel extra feelings for you. Feelings I never felt in all my life. All my married life. With my wife. And our four kids. Changpu, I’m attracted to you!
Changpu: Me too! I’m attracted to you! I’ve lived my whole life in China with just my parents. I had no friends, no colleagues… I was so lonely. I isolated myself. But with you, I feel joy! And happiness! And I thi—-…. SMOOCH!
Cyrus: Shhh, Changpu. I understand.
Let us heal our broken hearts with the love we fought our whole lives.
Cyrus: So, wanna go steady?
Changpu: What are you, 15?
Great! You’re My BOYFRIEND! I’m SO HAPPY!
So… How about fiancé?
Wait wait wait… I’m sure I have a Traci’s old wedding ring around here somewhere!
Cyrus! GREAT! Let’s get married.
Aw! Look at Cyrus! I’ve never seen him look so intoxicated happy!
So! With that!! Meet Changpu Zale (OMG A C! Like Angelica and Abe! Changpu and Cyrus!)
Changpu Zale is 3 days away from elder. His LTW is to be a master magician, but he is unemployed. It’s like if I wanted to be an award winning author but I Sim blog and waste away in a cube… ANYHOO MOVING ON… he only knew two people from China. His parents. Aw. He was just waiting for a man to save him. D’aaww. He likes Latin music, Crepes, and the color purple. He’s a Light Sleeping, Athletic, Excitable, Loser, who happens to be Lucky just once in awhile. Like visiting Sunset Valley, and touring the town when Cyrus went for a tattoo.
That’s all I have for this post! PLEASE vote for heir! Also, if Bettina or Leif die within the next couple Sim days, Changpu and Cyrus will adopt. The child will not be eligible for heir race, but NOT because she is adopted, but because there’s just too much of an age gap, and I’ll be ready to move on with the family. AUTHORS NOTE: Adoption will ALWAYS be allowed to continue the Zale Family legacy. I am an adopted child, and I am no less worthy to carry on my family name than if my parents had had any biological children. The same rule is applying to my Sims. Adopted children will be just as eligible to continue the Zale line.
Ahem – VOTE VOTE VOTE! And come back soon to see what’s next! Things are pretty exciting in the Zale house these days!
OH SHIT: And a special thanks to Amywan for inspiring the Zale Family with her Cyrus Begay Zombie on the de Vil Villain Legacy, and SERIOUSLY to my dear friend Julia laserkatt. Read her amazing adventure with Loki over here. Do it. Now. CLICK THEM BOTH NOW!